Vampire Circus 1972 Hammer Films
Director: Robert Young
We start with a real dandy of a vampire, lacey pirate shirt and all, being killed. But before he dies, he vows vengeance on the townsfolk and their children. Some 15 years pass and the men who killed the vampire now have spray painted gray hair and their kids are no longer babes in arms. Though quarantined from some mysterious illness, the circus rides into town.
A gypsy woman (who looks an awful lot like the school teacher's wife, who ran off with the vampire and was allegedly killed when his castle was destroyed is in charge. They start wowing the audiences with stunts and illusions, including a black panther who turns into a swarthy italian guy and some acrobats who morph into bats as the y fly through the air. Now, I don't know about you but this isn't part of any circus I've been to...
So, all of a sudden, children in the town start dying and/or disappearing. Yet the circus goes on and even when some folks get suspicious of the animals, there are enough skeptics to keep the show going. For a while, that is. Eventually, the only child left is the school teacher's daughter (who snuck back into town to be with her beau).
By the time these idiots figure out the gypsies are killing their kids, they've got poor Dora hanging over the corpse of the original vampire, ready to bring him back. To the ruins of the castle and let's hope we're not to late!
As you know, the rules about vampires and how to kill them changes with each new movie and by 1972, apparently they can be resurrected even after the stake through the heart (if you drip enough fake blood on the dead vampire!). It's a different spin on the tale, circus and all but kind of confusing and much footage was replayed to save a buck. I was getting déja vu! XX
Vampire Happening 1971 Aquila Film Enterprises
Director: Freddie Francis
Betty Williams is not your average Hollywood movie-star. She is actually a baroness from Transylvania, who just inherited a castle from her uncle. So, after screening her latest dirty movie, she's off to the fabled land of vampires to check the place out, before she sells it. At the castle she meets the butler, who recoils in fright at the sight of her. Turns out she is the spitting image of her great grandmother, the vampire witch!
Betty snoops around the place and when she finds she can fluster the monks next door by flashing her tits, she decides to stay! She orders the butler to have a bathtub installed and sets about meeting the monks next door. Particularly the one she flashed. She invites him over to "see the chapel" then joins the butler in the basement to meet her dead relatives (by prying open their coffins!). You guessed it, she opens the great grandma's tomb and releases her into the world yet again.
From here out, the running joke is mistaken identity, as the two women show up in different places in various wigs and gowns. Only the butler suspects there is more than one baroness running around and everyone thinks he is crazy anyway! Along the way, the real baroness falls for a school teacher, but then so does great grandma! All comes to a head at a vampire's ball at some other castle, when the teacher tries to save his poor Betty from Dracula and his minions!
This was actually better than it sounds, with plenty of intended gags and all the campiness the producers could muster. Decadent, nudity and "hip" music round out the experience, or should I say "happening". The only downfall... it's a little long and slow paced. It's not bad... XXXX
The Vampire Lovers 1970 American International Pictures
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Starring: Foxy Euro Babes and Peter Cushing
A long opening sequence explains the history of a family cursed and a brother of a victim who found the power to kill the undead. The roll credits, and into a scene of ballroom dancing and a strange woman who leaves her even stranger adult daughter with the General (Cushing), who is hosting the party.
The general's daughter, Laura, is anxious to go visit her friend Emma as Emma and her father depart. But alas... No dice. Laura starts having nightmares, followed by a mysterious illness which she eventually succumbs to. The general takes off to visit a friend and grieve the loss of his daughter.
Meanwhile, the same stranger daughter (now known as Carmilla) moves in with Emma and her family, and wouldn't you just know it... She starts having night mares too. While papa is away, Carmilla takes over. She seduces the governess, but the butler is onto her. See, he heard about these "vampires" from the local pub master. He brings home lovely garlic flowers and puts Emma's cross on her neck.
Of course, this doesn't last, as Carmilla just seduces him too (she swings both ways...), getting him to remove the cross and flowers before draining him dry (of blood, that is). By now, Emma's father has caught up with the General and a very dead doctor. They head to Carmilla's ancestral home to find her shroud and coffin, while young Carl races to save Emma. Can that horse go fast enough?
This was an interesting piece of work, with all the right trimmings- the set, the costumes, the lighting, the overt lesbianism. As good as say, Lady Frankenstein but nowhere near as good as Vampyros Lesbos (see below), which it seems to be a tamer version of, with a little Dark Shadows thrown in. XXX
The Vampire's Niece a.k.a. Malenka 1968 Cobra Films
Director: Amando de Ossorio
Starring: Anita Ekberg
Ms- Sylvia Morrell (Ekberg) receives a letter from her Uncle, telling her she is a countess and the heir of her long estranged mother's fortune, including a castle in the country. After bragging to her doctor fiancé about the whole thing, she takes off to check out her new inheritance. Of course, not all is as it seems. The castle is cold and creepy, and her uncle will not be receiving her until 10pm. But there is a fetching oil painting of her grandmother, that is the spiting image of her- only with black hair.
Ten arrives, and the uncle shows her about the place, including her ancestors' graves. During the night, she is visited by a sexy goth-chick in black lace, who almost puts the bite on her but is interrupted by the uncle. He persuades her that her family's tradition is much too important for her to get married and has her write a "dear john" to the doctor.
Next thing you know, the doc and his friend show up at the castle. Thwarted, initially, they return to town, where they nearly witness the barmaid's sister being drained of her blood. She too rises from the grave, in her ghostly white negligée, to join the uncle in their holy rituals. Sylvia resists all attempt to join them and even briefly escapes the castle. Only to be recaptured and brought back to find her fiancé tied up and the uncle ready to perform some blood "wedding". Sylvia plays along until the uncle is distracted by the fighting vampire goth-chicks (black lace and the white negligée). She then frees her doctor-man and they kill the uncle (flaming wooden stake, don't you know?).
The whole place goes up in flames and the alternating shots of the uncle's withered corpse and the oil painting slowly burning up are fantastic! A cheesy, gag-ending ruins the whole thing.
Puts the trash in eurotrash. I give it an X for the devouring flames sequence and an extra X for the goth-chick wrestling match, so XX.
Vampyr 1932 Tobis Filmkunst
Director: Carl Theodor Dreyer
This is an unusual film. Taking it's mood from Nosferatu and adding sound. In german, so forgive me if I get some details wrong... Residents of a sea-side village find themselves plagued by mysterious illnesses and deaths. After a strange dream, our lead man finds his sister(?) has taken ill. She's on her death bed, believing she is damned.
Throughout, our friend finds information from an old book, while the doctor (who looks a little like Einstein) and a nun try to save the poor, sick girl. As we read along on the screen, about all the horrors other villages have faced and how they conquered them, the family begins to wonder if the doctor is really doing any good.
Here's where I get confused: Our lead man, perhaps dreaming again?, wanders off to the cemetery where he trips and falls. He rights himself and sits on a bench. There, he splits into two semi-transparent beings, one of whom stays frozen on the bench. The other goes into a nearby building only to find his own corpse in a coffin and his love chained in another room!
While the coffin lid is sealed and coffin taken out to the carriage, the apparent ghost aids in driving a piece of rebar through the vampire's heart and freeing his love, which makes him whole again and frees the doctor from his enslavement! He then walks off into the sunset with his love... Aaaahhhh.
The gothic type subtitles are true to the atmosphere of the movie but make it a little hard to follow. Could just be that it was european and hard to follow! The cinematography was exceptional... very beautifully photographed. The flickering light only added to the creepy feel of this movie. All in all, a very good vampire film! XXXX
Vampyros Lesbos 1970 Tele-Cine
Director: Jess Franco
Starring: Soledad Miranda
Our blonde heroine, Linda, a german sales exec, is hangin' out in Turkey with her thinly moustachioed beau, Omar. They are at a theatre, taking in some "performance art" in the form of a scantily clad brunette (Miranda) giving half her attire to, and generally lezzing out with, a voluptuous red-head. Linda is struck with the brunette, as she has seen her in a recurring erotic dream. This, she tells her shrink before she embarks on a business trip to Anatolia.
Anatolia, it turns out, very much resembles the place in her dream and soon she finds the Countess Nadine Carody, who is both the woman she is to meet with AND the girl from her dream! The Countess makes Linda feel welcome and they go for a skinny-dip, before retiring to the bedroom for some hot lesbian blood-sucking action- and those are some bushy bushes!! Linda awakens at the beach house, naked and confused and eventually winds up at Dr- Seward's Private Clinic (for anemic lesbians, we presume). The only other patient is Agra, another of the Countess' conquests.
But there is something different this time, as the Countess Carody has fallen in love with Linda and now feels the victim. She calls Linda out in the nigh for more but the doctor, who is an amateur "vampire expert" (and wannabe) is onto the whole plot. When the Countess shows up at his office, he pleads with her to let him join their ranks and when she refuses him, he curses her and she has him killed. This leaves Omar and the shrink to save Linda from the Countess' spell. They arrive at her lair but she flees.
Linda arrives at the beach house to find the Countess half-alive and needing her blood to get back her strength. Will Omar arrive in time to save her? Will there be more lesbian erotica first??
This film lies somewhere between euro-trash horror and softcore girl-girl porn, with a very unusual psychedelic soundtrack that adds to the porno feel. In german, with subtitles, so you don't get the added humor of the overdub. Watch for the cheesy metaphor throughout. I give it an extra X for gratuitous nudity, so XXXX!
The Violent Years 1956 Headliner Productions of Hollywood
Director: Edward D. Wood, Jr.
Paula is a typical teen. Her pop is a newspaper man, her mom a socialite. She has looks, nice clothes and a brand new convertible. By day she is a straight A student but by night... She runs a gang of hoodlum criminal bitches! They hold up a gas station then crash a couple on "lover's lane", tying up the girl and forcing the boy at gunpoint into the woods for some naughty behavior. Bad girl...
The girls steal and fence the stolen goods with a woman who puts them in contact with some even less savory characters. Paula has them over for her birthday pajama party, where they spin records and make-out on the couch until her dad's friend shows up and punches out Paula's new gangster boyfriend.
Well, for whatever reason (this was written by Ed Wood), the woman hires the girls to vandalize the school. They go, they thrash the school and when the cops show, two of the girls and one cop are killed in the ensuing gun battle! No turning back now. Paula and her friend make a daring (and incredulous) escape from the cops, kill the woman and steal her clothes, then make a run for Mexico.
This is one of the most ridiculous movies I've seen. Adults trying to grasp at what seemed like senseless teen crime and violence is one thing, but Ed Wood trying to grasp this? Good lord! There is no explanation other than cheap thrills. A poor little rich girl so bored she resorts to a life of crime. Nowadays, it's run of the mill. In 1956, it's cheap thrills. Really bad, but yet you can't turn it off. XXX
Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet 1965 Roger Corman Productions
Director: Curtis Harrington
Starring: Basil Rathbone!
Oh boy, where do I start? In an apparent convoy to Venus, one ship is struck by a meteor and destroyed. The remaining astronauts must carry on without them and despite their grief, decide to go down to the surface- even with no back-up. What they find down there is relatively normal environment (compared to First Spaceship on Venus anyway) except for the monstrous flesh-eating plants and dinosaurs!
The astronauts set out with their trusty robot, in a very nice hovercraft I might add, to explore and collect "samples". They are besieged at every turn, however, as plants and beasts alike try to devour them. After one guy runs low on air and gets a pill from the robot, two of the astronauts try to cross a river of molten lava(!) on the robot's back and find themselves in a pickle when the robot's programming tells it to jettison some weight and it decides to toss the astronauts!
Eventually, all survivors end up back at the ship with their glorious finds, including a sculpture of a beautiful woman which was hidden inside an ordinary looking foam-rubber rock. As they head back to earth, we see the form of the beautiful woman in the reflection of a placid venutian pond. She kneels and admires her own reflection. While the announcer expounds on the mysteries of space, we are left to ponder if they had stayed a little longer maybe one of our astronauts could've scored some alien tang!
The spacesuits and hovercraft are top-notch but the sets, effects, story and acting are all quite laughable! And the color... I couldn't actually tell at points if it was color or B+W! I guess they couldn't afford Technicolor, eh? X